Before and after land.
Sit in a cafe anywhere and as you are sipping your beverage of choice, let yourself settle into the murmurings of those seated around you. During the to and fro of their chitter-chatter you will hear the words, "I've just started", " I let go", "I surrendered" or " it just finished" No judgment as I know those words have left my lips many times over. After all, it is fun to start something, to throw caution to the wind and just let go or moreover just to surrender to the universe and let the cards fall where they may isn't it?
That is exhilarating, carefree and so very not middle aged of us.
As we dive deeper and deeper into the digital abyss that is becoming our way of life, what are we lacking that these quick hit of happy brain chemical concepts are now as fabulous as we can get in conversation?
Why are we so fascinated by the proverbial daytime television high/low drama sequence that creates big beginnings and dramatic endings that see the word surrender become so idolised that people are actually inking themselves with it?.
I love the beginning phase of anything, movement, cooking, catchups, meditation. The beginning is sacred for me as I see it as a way of being open and wanting to what the unknown shall feel like, teach or offer me in wisdom. The long slow depths that beginnings are when created this way feel magical and the time that is taken here to nurture your experience leads only to serve in preparation for breadth and patience that the going through phase will require of you.
We don't talk about the going through, it the quiet achiever in life's great drama sequences spoken of at coffee shops or in social media posts. The going through is missed. The high excitement of the beginning and the ending are so wildly everything that we leave out the middle. The greatest of all the lessons is hushed perhaps missed completely for its lackluster of frenzied elation that is heavily heaped into the wild ride of the ending.
Life seems to have been condensed to beginnings and endings upon timelines that are incredulous. It feels like we are living in before and after land. The middle is omitted. The depth, the struggle or the ease, the lofty height of prolonged sensation, the profoundness that practice brings, the allegiance of connection, the simmering, all disregarded for a rapid-fire highlight reel of beginnings and endings.
Why, why does it matter?
Perchance in the constricted timeframes, we are all living in, the highlight reel might be fitting for most.
I see the toil of what the going through brings as thoroughly wild and rugged in its litany of lessons. Stamina, grit, and moxie are formed to establish a place that we can nest into for the span of what the going through will over its time teach us.
The going through is the unseen disciplined work of being centered, clearing, making, deeply nourishing, providing, holding, and loving whatever it is enough to know that this will meet it's end.
Space is created and life is crafted here. Appreciation is fostered and gratitude starts to swell for the dedication it takes to stay the course. One breath, one step, one minute, one day, one week at a time until we have walked and sustained our discipline long enough to reach the final stage.
When we rush the going through, we are reckless, possibly lazy. We live in a world of ever-evolving efficiencies, that serve to make our lives easier so we can do more. Yet we seem to be losing the art of substance, rushing to achieve or create or finalise is more glorified than the commitment it takes to endure the process of each of those outcomes.
None of us want to be lost to the process, however when we hurry the going through we are left with loose ends that keep rising to interfere with our dramatic, exciting short stories of letting go, surrendering and being the carefree wild ones that we know are hidden just below the surface of who we stand as today.
Going through matters to our conversations, to the next generation. Sharing our lessons, the insights, and the inspiration matters. This is our depth, our profound connectedness, our substance, our greatest heights of experience, we shall never know or see mastery if we miss the lessons of what has guided us along the path. Shunning this part of all our experience is remiss, neglecting the beauty of what grows here will be only to the detriment of our story.
There is a place for letting go and surrendering will hold an allure that calls us all. There will be a wanting for the excitement of starting and a fascination for the dramatic endings that eschew.
Don't rush, hasten or expedite going through, nor rebuff nor temper its lessons.
Feel it all to offer it all, to what comes next.